‘You used your children to take away my spotlight’: SIL of Bride Makes Wedding All About Her Kids By Sabotaging the First Dance

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 27, 2024 12:00 PM EST

In so many cultures, the wedding day is supposed to be the best day of your life. A day of excitement, nerves, love, celebration, friends, family, and knowing you're tying the knot on a relationship with your one and only. It's surrounded with high expectations of happiness and being the center of attention on your big day. People spend upwards of 100k just on the day alone – renting the venue, providing food, drink, the dress, etc. It's a big deal, and feeling like everything went according to plan is greatly important. 

It's easy to feel upset on your big day if someone is threatening your spotlight. It's supposed to be about the couple and no one else. So when the sister-in-law's children get involved with the production, things get hairy. Especially when you didn't expect it. This Reddit thread is about just that; a wedding that goes a bit outside of the plan, much to the bride's dismay. 

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  • 01
    4 AITA for confronting my SIL that she was trying to make our wedding a showcase for her kids? Posted by u/Tall-Bread-2358 13 hours ago
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  • 02
    My husband and I recently got married and I felt that my SIL tried to make our special day about her kids.
    via u/Tall-Bread-2358
  • 03
    I proposed to my SIL's kids if they could be our flower girls for the special day. The kids were so excited and said yes! Everything seemed to go according to plan until two months before the wedding when my SIL asked me if the kids should have two dresses for two entrances (wedding
    via u/Tall-Bread-2358
  • 04
    ceremony & dinner reception). I told my SIL that the kids will only have one entrance, as our flower girls, during my wedding ceremony. My SIL looked upset and said "they MUST walk during the dinner reception too." Note that my wedding ceremony and dinner reception was at the same location and
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  • 05
    the wedding aisle was long (85ft long) so it takes some time to get from one end to the other (especially for kids).
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  • 06
    I am not the confrontational type, so I asked my husband to tell his sister that her daughters will only walk down the aisle once. My husband agreed and told his sister. My SIL disapproved and said to my husband that he is the kids' only beloved uncle and that her daughters will never get a chance to be flower girls again.
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  • 07
    I thought everything was sorted out... until the big day. The wedding ceremony went as should and the flower girls were so beautiful; however, when the dinner reception time came and my husband and my entrance to the dinner reception was about to happen, the SIL inserted her kids in front of us with fresh baskets of rose petals. The SIL
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  • 08
    never told me nor my husband about this entrance. I was blindsided. Turns out that my SIL went behind my back and told my MOH to tell the wedding MC (emcee) to announce the flower girls first to the dinner reception. The flower girls entered the dinner reception laying out a fresh set
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  • 09
    of rose petals down the aisle once more. While I was surprised, I was not angry (nor sad) because it was a special day and I did not want to let bad emotions ruin the day. I was also going to let the MC introduce and thank the flower girls during the reception anyways, so I did not mind.
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  • 10
    This quickly changed when my SIL planned a surprise dance by the daughters in the middle of dinner as a gift to us. The MC once again announced the flower girls and they started dancing down the aisle onto the main stage again. So, all in all the kids "walked" down the aisle not once, not twice, but three times! My husband and I were
    via u/Tall-Bread-2358
  • 11
    supposed to have our first dance during this time, but instead her daughters danced on the stage, while my husband and I had our first dance on the side...
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  • 12
    After the wedding I told my husband how upset I was at his sister and said she was trying to make the day about her kids. I confronted my SIL about this, but she shrugged it off and said that they were just kids and I am being a bridezilla/an a-hole. Instead my husband apologized on her behalf, which angered me more since it was not his
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  • 13
    fault. AITA for confronting my SIL that she was trying to make our wedding a showcase for her kids?
    via u/Tall-Bread-2358
  • 14
    Pitiful_Net_5965 · 12 hr. ago Send an itemized bill for use of the emcee, the stage, the photographer, and the second and third entrance, as well as the dance. Booo on your MOH too she's supposed to stop
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  • 15
    things like this from happening. She should NOT have aided in having the emcee announce them, she should. have barred the second petal throwing and as MOH it was absolutely her duty to
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  • 16
    tackle them off the stage. Lol NTA but when class and manners don't shame them Money always will go after that bag
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  • 17
    My_Poor_Nerves · 8 hr. ago With a "Please let me know what help you'll need in planning their next recital and we can see if we can find some cheaper options!"
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  • 18
    Polish_girl44 42 min. ago Its always so sad when a shameless mother puts her kids in such situation. OP was so kind not to say or do a thing about it. But I agree I'd make SIL pay.
    via u/Polish_girl44
  • 19
    The Devilish Frenchfry 26 min. ago Nah I'd just wait for another really important event for her and just 1 up, but that's just me if wanted to be petty
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  • 20
    as , and especially afterwhat sil said after
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  • 21
    Cand Thonestpartners · 11 hr. ago Partassipant [2] Make sure the videographer deleted the girls out of the shots you don't want. Also don't pick the photos of the girls for your album.
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  • 22
    Make sure you complain to the emcee that in future they should only take advice off the people who are actually paying them.
    via u/CandThonestpartners
  • 23
    Wombat_in_boots · 11 hr. ago Pretend it never happened. Don't share any photos that your photographer took of the kids. Don't post them on Facebook.
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  • 24
    And don't give anyone else access to your photographers pics. Do post lots and lots of photos of yourself and DH.
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  • 25
    The DogIsTheBoss. 10 hr. ago This. I wouldn't indulge your SIL on anything. She will make every event about her/her kids. I'd keep her at a distance. I'd also have a talk with your MOH and MC
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  • 26
    for clearly not following your wishes
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  • 27
    Tinyyellowterribilis . 3 hr. ago Imagine what happens if OP ever has a baby shower. It will be all about baby's cousins and the name the girls chose for the baby
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  • 28
    CleverishGeneric. 13 hr. ago Partassipant [4] Nta but I would let it go and file it away. Don't let it ruin your memories of your wedding and don't let it cause strife between you and your husband.
    via u/CleverishGeneric
  • 29
    Now you know how she is and she's going to be. Keep it in mind if it ever becomes relevant toyour life again and in the meantime, congrats on your wedding
    via u/CleverishGeneric
  • 30
    OkAbbreviations6351. 13 hr. ago Enthusiast [7] NTA and I would be mad too! You SIL went against your wishes and behind your back on YOUR wedding day to upstage you with her kids. If she wanted your guests to see her
    via u/OkAbbreviations6351
  • 31
    kids dance then she should have her own party for them. I am sorry this happened to your on your wedding day! I would keep my distance from her.
    via u/OkAbbreviations6351

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family drama bride marriage groom drama AITAH relationships shocking wedding lol love story family reddit thread Reddit funny children
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